Hi God, yes I hear you.... loud & clear!

It's a strange feeling to realize you are listening to God and hearing him and seeing him put things in front of you that he wants you to do. So a little over a week ago I was absolutely certain that come December 14, I would be moving back to St. Louis to live with my parents. I had prayed about it a little, not enough (of course...like always) but...I really felt that with everything that was going on in my life, I was supposed to move up there. Then I go on the retreat. Then Wes happens. Then Amy wants me to be a life group leader (well...Amy is just a messenger for God really...haha) . And the one reason (before Wes) that I did not want to leave at all was church, and I really really feel a strong tug at my heart that I'm supposed to be at grace point. I have since I started going there. I feel like a retard because God is so apparent and now I feel like He doesn't want me to leave but I didn't see it. But God wouldn't just change His mind. So was I just blind before? Was I not listening close enough? Was I just taking the easy road out? Thats what I feel like. Now mind you, I really don't want to leave, but honestly, that would be the hard thing! Because if I stay, I'll need to find a place to live...CHEAP!!...worry about getting a better job...saving money & getting out of debt...ah! I know that if God wants me here and I obey Him, he will provide. But what I am struggling with right now is the decision I am going to have to make. I am very thankful that He is showing me all these things, because I would hate to move, and it not be the right decision, and realize it after I get up there.

That is my prayer request, friends. Please pray that I gain clarity. And can trust God fully. Ahh!

I woke up this morning, and had a new experience. I guess while my mind was still clear from an amazing night of sleep, I realized I was doing a pretty good job of trusting God with everything except finances. He needs that part of me. I am so so poor, but I also make poor choices with my money. So, I pray that as I start this obedient act, I do it for the right reason, stay prayerful, and gain clarity from Him.