I have said this more times than you know recently. Mainly to myself. I never realized how hard it is to commit to something fully 100% with no regard. I have done this several times in the past, but without little thought. Like moving back to Texas for example, I just saved up some cash, packed up my stuff, and drove down. Even moving to St. Louis for that matter...little thought, just compulsive decision making. But after going back and forth, I have came to one big conclusion, if God hasn't been the focus of any of these decisions, then you are probably making the wrong one. So when you are seeing the consequences of your decisions, and being negative, you realize you did it all wrong, you want to go back and do it all over again, but let God in this time. But that doesn't work. You can't just go back. You have to go forward. And let God stand right beside you, holding your hand and whispering in your ear what you need to do next. This isn't as easy as it sounds. Especially when you have a million other things going on and you can't just clear your mind enough to think...well...clearly. Today Mike Sharrow talked about Psalm 23. But he did what we did at the Live It Out retreat...when we dissected James...he did that, but with Psalm 23:1-3. We've all heard it a hundred times, but I'll put it down for the sake of explaining. "The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul." The Lord God...almighty maker of heaven and earth IS my shepherd. Not was, not will be, not for the bad times, not for the good times, he is my shepherd. My shepherd...which means I am the sheep...who is needy and vulnerable but also very valuable....so my shepherd...who is there to do what is best for me. Show me the quiet waters where I can drink from. Be my protector in the night, take me to the place where I won't go hungry. ... My soul is restored...restoration...the one true part of me that holds my dreams and my fears ... he restores it. heals it. makes it new. ....
Father, I know you are here. Your hand down by your side just waiting for me to grab hold. tight. and never let go. I have a lot of decisions to make that will drastically change my future, but I trust in You without regard. I know that you will show me where I should go that will have the green pastures I shall eat from and the still waters I can drink from. I know that through the hard times, you will restore my soul. I think you for being my shepherd. My guiding light on the shore. I'm coming...I promise. Hand in Hand, father, I thank you for never leaving my side.
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