Saturday, March 22, 2008

I need this.

It's so obvious...I don't feel like my life is "a mess", but I have made a few yucky decisions lately and I can feel it. I can tell I have hindered my spiritual intimacy with Jesus. And although I know all Jesus wants is for me to come to him, not hide from him, I find myself just turning on the TV or listening to music instead of finding him, or more importantly letting Him find me. This is one disgusting cycle the enemy has me in. I thought it was over. I thought I had conquered it once and for all, but what I forgot is that he is always crouching at my door. And recently I've just been thinking his ideas weren't so bad. And thinking back I want to punch myself in the face. I have an issue with just saying no. And this goes for a lot of different things. I can't say no to good or bad things.

Lord, I am so sorry for screwing up yet again. I know I have a sinful nature, just like everyone else, but I don't want to fall victim of Satan again. You know every strength and every weakness inside my body - so I ask that you would please supply your holiness in every aspect, but especially to those that I am struggling with currently. I thank you for being who you are in me. I praise you for bringing me to a point in my life where I am able to see how relevant your will is in my life. I can't wait to see you face to face, Lord, and wrap my arms around you! Thank you for letting me screw up, so I can be shaped and crafted into who you want me to become. I love you!


Today, two of my oldest and best friends are starting a bible study. My job isn't letting me get what I need out of the tribe, so i am starting this small bible study so i can grow spiritually. But don't worry, because every chance I get I'll be at the tribe!

1 comment:

Jeff Reininger said...

you will never fully beat the enemy...he will always be there every step of the way to try and make you fall... and fall you will, just like everyone else. the good thing is, God knows that. we all fail. the sooner we admit our failures the sooner we can begin to regroup and rebuild. admitting your faults is the most humbling thing you can do...which is kinda funny when you think about it, because we all have them. but for some reason we all try to hide them, as if someone else is actually better than us!