Well...bummer

Last night, I read probably 200 pages of Mistaken Identity. I got so enveloped in the Van Ryn's and Ceraks story I couldn't put the book down. This morning when I woke up I wanted to youtube the dateline special and watch it. So for almost an hour, thats what I did. Their story is so inspiring and hopeful. Their undoubtful faith in Jesus Christ inspires me to hold back with nothing, and have no fear for My God is bigger than anything. Little did I know the courage and strength I felt this morning from watching the Mistaken Identity story, would come in very handy in a few hours.

I'm sitting on the couch after eating breakfast watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition around 12:15. Andy (my adopted dad, who is treating me as his daughter since my real parents are 1000 miles away in St. Louis) walked into the house after being gone for the morning and saw me sitting on the couch and said "Where's your car?" Andy always jokes with me, trying to trick me and stuff, so I assumed he was playing around with me. So I said "shut UP!" thinking he was kidding. He looked at me, and right then i knew he wasn't kidding. In no way shape or form do I think my car getting stolen can even remotely compare to the Van Ryn and Cerak tragedy...but with watching and reading about it, and seeing their constant hope in Jesus through the toughest thing anyone could ever possibly go through I had a very serene calm attitude through it all. Yeah - having your car stolen with your brand new Ibanez acoustic guitar in the trunk SUCKS...but I know that for some unknown reason it needed to happen, and I trust that God will make something good come out of it.

I need this.

It's so obvious...I don't feel like my life is "a mess", but I have made a few yucky decisions lately and I can feel it. I can tell I have hindered my spiritual intimacy with Jesus. And although I know all Jesus wants is for me to come to him, not hide from him, I find myself just turning on the TV or listening to music instead of finding him, or more importantly letting Him find me. This is one disgusting cycle the enemy has me in. I thought it was over. I thought I had conquered it once and for all, but what I forgot is that he is always crouching at my door. And recently I've just been thinking his ideas weren't so bad. And thinking back I want to punch myself in the face. I have an issue with just saying no. And this goes for a lot of different things. I can't say no to good or bad things.

Lord, I am so sorry for screwing up yet again. I know I have a sinful nature, just like everyone else, but I don't want to fall victim of Satan again. You know every strength and every weakness inside my body - so I ask that you would please supply your holiness in every aspect, but especially to those that I am struggling with currently. I thank you for being who you are in me. I praise you for bringing me to a point in my life where I am able to see how relevant your will is in my life. I can't wait to see you face to face, Lord, and wrap my arms around you! Thank you for letting me screw up, so I can be shaped and crafted into who you want me to become. I love you!


Today, two of my oldest and best friends are starting a bible study. My job isn't letting me get what I need out of the tribe, so i am starting this small bible study so i can grow spiritually. But don't worry, because every chance I get I'll be at the tribe!

yes shane, you are so brill.

So far this book has been so far beyond what I expected, The Irresistible Revolution by Shane Claiborne. This actually goes along with my last blog, about leading an abundant life. Would you still follow Jesus if there were no heaven and no hell? Do you have enough life, joy, and fulfillment that makes it worth it to follow Jesus now? WOW. Let me just tell you (lol Katy I stole it!) that saving us from heaven isn't what its all about. It's amazing that we don't have to live an eternity in the burning pits of hell because of our savior, Jesus Christ...but realize that's not the only purpose of Jesus! He came to make our lives abundant. When I Googled the definition of abundant (just to make it clear) it basically means in large supply or plentiful. So plentiful of LIFE and JOY and GRACE and a peace that only God the Father himself can give to you! Shane says that if you ask any person what a Christian believes they'll tell you "They believe that Jesus was God's son and He died for their sins." But if you ask them how they live they are struck SILENT. How awful! It's the sad honest truth that most Christian's do not live that much differently from an average non Christian. So what makes our lives so exciting that they should come join in on the party? Something has been weighing on my heart heavy lately and I can't quite put my finger on it yet. Yes , God sent his only (and favorite) son to die for our sins! And that allows us to enter the kingdom of heaven if so we just believe...but laaaaaaaaadies! and gents thats not the whole story. We were put on this earth to do a lot of things for the Kingdom of Heaven & one of those is bringing other believers to Christ. We can't do that by living just an ordinary life. Well...I suppose you can, but the impact just isn't as great.

I had one of those moments where I actually LOL'd reading this book. "I'm excited about the afterlife. We are going to party like there is no tomorrow (ummm, and there won't be)" HA! YES!

Lord, I thank you dying on the cross so that I get to spend forever worshiping you. But I also thank you for allowing me to have a fulfilled life here on Earth. Please show me how I can live abundantly and bring glory to You!

life v. abundant life

I have caught myself thinking about this living an abundant life thing that pastor Jeff was talking about last week pretty much every day since Sunday. The non believers who don't necessarily live a hard life (incarcerated, hard on drugs...etc) think their life is just as plentiful as any ordinary living christian. God didn't call us to be ordinary. He called us to live and follow and be soaked up in His every word. Living abundantly. Live your life in a way that any normal non believer will want to have what you have. What does this mean though? How would I go about that? Thoughts please....

Not until you seek an abundant lifestyle is when you truly expierence all that God has to offer you. And this is when you realize living for the Lord is the sole purpose you were put on this planet.


Just hooooow exactly do we get THERE?


ps. I want to drop my american literature class. I hate english and I have 5 other classes I need to worry about. So the 8 papers I have due before spring break...makes me want to drop this class. sigh of doom.

cloudy vision

Last week was bad. Not anything in particular, but I just realized how foggy my thoughts had been. I clouded it with mindless things. I can't remember giving the Lord His day once. Earlier I said that the enemy doesn't have anything on me....I lied. I forget that I have to be careful. He's so freakin sneaky! I hear he's been after a bunch of us recently, especially after last weekends retreat.. Seek HIM first. Geez I screwed up.

Thankfully, I am not condemned with Christ. :)

Lord, I am humbly brought back down to You and rescued from my own selfish thoughts & desires. It is You who I want to glorify every day. I know you already do, but please forgive me for not coming to You when it mattered. In Your Holy Name...Amen

grumble

the enemy is hard at work. trying to break down everything from last weekend. not today, dude. you ain't got nothin on me!


my belly says grumble grumbleee :/