why are we keeping score?
Cause if you’re not laughing,
Who is laughing now?
I’ve been wondering
If we stop sinking
Could we stand our ground?
And through everything we’ve learned
We’ve finally come to terms,
We are the outsiders.
Needtobreathe has been super inspirational to me lately. Thankful for them & their awesome music!
It's wierd that I haven't figured this out until now. But I guess I had to learn it on my own. Pastor Jeff has been talking about suffering for Christ lately. Not a very uplifting sermon, but sometimes you need the flat out hard core truth. I appreciate it, seriously! But I think people expect to have Jesus save them from all their troubles. Or expect Him to make life easier in every way. And while He does make life easier to GET THROUGH....being on the same side as Christ brings a whole set of new problems. And you wanna know why? I just figured this one out. It's because following Christ in a world full of sin is like standing in sinking sand. Or like paddling up current. Or like trying to fly in a hurricane. It's next to impossible. ...next to...but yet, it's what makes us strong. It's what builds "God-like character". We are flipping through John 10 & 11. It's pretty incredible. It also reminds me of James. The book of the bible I know the best. I wish I knew the rest of the bible like I know James chapter 1. Haha. I don't know the passage well enough, but they ask Jesus why do they have to suffer. Or why is he blind? Did he do something wrong? Did his parents do something wrong? And Jesus simply says he suffers so God can have the glory. Thats it! We suffer to build our character, shape us into Godly people, that ultimately brings glory to God. How incredible...and scary! But it's definitely awesome to understand that. Trials come and go, but I can't be suprised by them. They are there for a reason. And my job is to get through them stronger. Thankfully, I'm not on my own.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Dirt covered snow
its like a winter wonderland out there. on the way to work this morning i wasn't able to help but thinking of the beautiful things God continues to give us & how again - humans screw it up & make it look disgusting. snow is BEAUTIFUL...untouched. but covered in exhaust fumes it's gross.
sort of like me.
but God decides to shower down another blanket of pure snow to cover all the ugly.
Everything good in my life, I'm pretty sure I've somehow screwed it up by being a crappy person. But each morning, God wants nothing more than to let me start new.
I really have to start believing that. So is that what it means when they say "God's mercies are new every morning?"
Hallelujah!
sort of like me.
but God decides to shower down another blanket of pure snow to cover all the ugly.
Everything good in my life, I'm pretty sure I've somehow screwed it up by being a crappy person. But each morning, God wants nothing more than to let me start new.
I really have to start believing that. So is that what it means when they say "God's mercies are new every morning?"
Hallelujah!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
I'm back!
Well here I am again, writing on this blog! It's been over a year and a half since that has last happened, so let me tell you what brought me back.
My friend Nicole, a friend from high school, messaged me and asked if I had a blog because she wanted to start blogging. At that moment the only technical blog I had was a tumblr account. I didn't really use it for blogging...more as a combination of twitter/facebook, constantly reblogging pictures of vampire diaries, zac efron, jonas brothers, awesome photography...etc. So that all happened last night - I told her my link & that was that. Well this morning I wake up and in my email I have a notification from blogger that someone commented on my blog "I'm Broken - Wide Open" about a Marilyn Monroe quote. Wierd timing....but it made me miss this blog a little bit, so I came back over & spent a little bit of time reading through my old posts and I always love doing that! To relive my spiritual journey. To remember a time when I was constantly questioning, battling, thinking, and processing Jesus. It's a whole lot better than what I do now.
I always find it weird to think about why I am in such a crappy place, spiritually. I don't do drugs. I don't drink in excess. (One or two beers a month is about what I do...if that) I don't have sex. I don't do anything major that would make me hang my head in shame & avoid talking to God. The only thing I feel that is got a hold on me is my lack of drive. I should pray...but I don't. I should read scripture...get to know my God more...but I don't. I should wake up every sunday excited for church...but I don't, until this morning. And I finally made it to the college age bible study on thursday night, and from there - a few snowball events have happened & now I very possibly might have a group of girls that I could open up to & experience community with.
The reason I'm here, and have been so stagnant, is because I don't have any christian friends who were willing to experience life with me. I mean i have those friends but they are really far away in Texas. That does me little good in St Louis. That is why i miss it soooo freaking much sometimes!
But thursday night was sort of an "abouuuut FACE" for my spiritual life. I hope its the turn I needed to make. I woke up this sunday morning and am excited to get into that building and worship God.
But now I need to go jump in the shower or I'll be late!
My friend Nicole, a friend from high school, messaged me and asked if I had a blog because she wanted to start blogging. At that moment the only technical blog I had was a tumblr account. I didn't really use it for blogging...more as a combination of twitter/facebook, constantly reblogging pictures of vampire diaries, zac efron, jonas brothers, awesome photography...etc. So that all happened last night - I told her my link & that was that. Well this morning I wake up and in my email I have a notification from blogger that someone commented on my blog "I'm Broken - Wide Open" about a Marilyn Monroe quote. Wierd timing....but it made me miss this blog a little bit, so I came back over & spent a little bit of time reading through my old posts and I always love doing that! To relive my spiritual journey. To remember a time when I was constantly questioning, battling, thinking, and processing Jesus. It's a whole lot better than what I do now.
I always find it weird to think about why I am in such a crappy place, spiritually. I don't do drugs. I don't drink in excess. (One or two beers a month is about what I do...if that) I don't have sex. I don't do anything major that would make me hang my head in shame & avoid talking to God. The only thing I feel that is got a hold on me is my lack of drive. I should pray...but I don't. I should read scripture...get to know my God more...but I don't. I should wake up every sunday excited for church...but I don't, until this morning. And I finally made it to the college age bible study on thursday night, and from there - a few snowball events have happened & now I very possibly might have a group of girls that I could open up to & experience community with.
The reason I'm here, and have been so stagnant, is because I don't have any christian friends who were willing to experience life with me. I mean i have those friends but they are really far away in Texas. That does me little good in St Louis. That is why i miss it soooo freaking much sometimes!
But thursday night was sort of an "abouuuut FACE" for my spiritual life. I hope its the turn I needed to make. I woke up this sunday morning and am excited to get into that building and worship God.
But now I need to go jump in the shower or I'll be late!
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